Nikolia Benlinski /Quotes

Der Reise
I feel like a dirty Capitalist."
 * "Very good, American, you may sniff my vodka."
 * "Stay away from my Vodka!"
 * "I'm out of Vodka— I-I mean ammo."
 * "What is that clicking noise? Oh, I'm out of ammo!"
 * "I will paint Red Square with their blood!"
 * "...Same weapon I used to kill my wife, she was bitch." (Referring to Double-barreled shotgun)
 * "NICE SHOT......are you sure you're not Russian?" (after seeing Richtofen take off a zombies head)
 * "Ahh, Just what we needed. Although some vodka would be nice." (upon receiving Max-Ammo)
 * "Good, that song was driving me nuts!"
 * "...Same weapon I used to kill my second wife, it was accident, she talks to much..." (referring to the PPSh-41, can also be referring to PTRS)
 * "You know, Takeo could be a zombie, I mean, how could we even tell?" (after Takeo speaking about knife killing a zombie)
 * "We do not have such frivolous toys in Stallin's Russia." (Upon receiving Monkey Bombs)
 * "So now I have to hold this fucking monkey?!" (upon reciving Monkey Bombs)
 * "Nikolai likes his bacon CRISPY!" (upon getting a kill with the flamethrower)
 * "You know, I was on fire once, It was no fun." (upon getting a kill with the flamethrower)
 * "Does anybody need a light?!" (upon receiving the flamethrower)
 * "Why do you always get the good shit and I get the Colt?" (upon Dempsey receiving a good weapon and remarking about it)
 * "Aww, I made a little pet. I'll go take him for a walk for about 5 minutes while the rest of you dick around." (upon making a crawler)
 * "You have no limbs but u still come!" (upon making a crawler)
 * "Beg me to kill you stumpy." (upon making a crawler)
 * "If their brains were in their legs that would be a kill!" (upon making a crawler)
 * "YOU CANNOT RUN FROM NIKOLAI!" (upon getting a headshot)
 * "The air hangs heavy with stench of dog shit." (upon the start of dog round)
 * "Oh great, another fucking dog show." (upon start of dog round)
 * "Someone run to the middle and hit switches." (upon starting the teleporter countdown)
 * "You know how to say owned in russian?!? OWNED!!"
 * "You're dead now, but you were dead before ah fuck you"
 * "I'm out of ammo! Ah well, I'll just kill them with my breath."
 * "What? That stripper must've stolen my money!" (upon failing to purchase an item)
 * "That stripper did take my money! bitch." (When to trying buy the mystery box without the 950 points. A reference to the above quote)
 * "I think there are dogs coming now!" (Upon a hellhound round starting)
 * "Does anyone want to trade weapons i have full ammo i swear!" (upon runing out of ammo in a weapon)

Kino Der Toten
"Maybe someone should go turn on the power now."

— At the beginning.
 * "No power! Just like home."
 * — At the beginning.
 * "I think we need to do something about the power."
 * — At the beginning.
 * "Who didn't pay the electric bill?"
 * — At the beginning.
 * "We should go find the fuse box."
 * — At the beginning.

Quotes cut from Kino Der Toten.

 * "Oh great! It's the Wonderfulwaffle!"
 * — Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box
 * "This has more power than Moscow Electric Company!"
 * — Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box
 * "This ALMOST as strong as the best Russian vodka."
 * — Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

Killing a Zombie

 * "You cannot even beat a drunk Soviet!"
 * — Upon getting a kill.
 * "The Red Army cannot be overun!"
 * — Upon getting a kill.
 * "Wow, your almost as good as TheRelaxingEnd"
 * --- Upon killing a horde of zombies, referring to zombie's legend, RelaxingEnd
 * "NO! NO VODKA FOR YOU!"
 * — Upon getting a kill.
 * "Die, Satan's minions!"
 * — Upon getting a kill.
 * "Die by the hand of Nikolai! Hey, that rhymes..."
 * — After a knife kill.
 * "Die now, son of bitch!"
 * — After a knife kill.
 * "You got slime on my new shirt! Now I have to dry clean!"
 * — Killing a Gas Zombie at close range
 * "Now that's what I call a goulash!"
 * — Killing multiple zombies with an explosive weapon
 * "You fall like coddled bourgeois!"
 * — Multiple kills
 * "STAY AWAY FROM MY VODKA! What? It's a classic!"
 * — After an explosive kill.
 * "Euuuaaaaghhhhhh!!"
 * — After a knife kill
 * "This fucking gun is amazing!"
 * — Getting multiple kills with the Ray Gun
 * "Now they're here, now they're not. Such is life in the...ah, fuck you."
 * — After an explosive kill.
 * "Explosives make things so much easier!"
 * — After an explosive kill or Ray Gun kill.
 * "BOOM! You are dead!"
 * — After an explosive kill.
 * "Have a round on me! Get it? A "round"? Eh.. never mind, fuck you."
 * — Upon getting a headshot.
 * "Don't slip in the slime!"
 * — Upon killing a Gas Zombie.
 * "What is that smell? Maybe I sharted..."
 * — Upon killing a gas zombie
 * "You got slime on my uniform!"
 * — Upon killing a Gas Zombie.
 * "That smells disgusting... like my fourth wife. She pretty though... pretty and smelly, weird combo."
 * — Upon killing a Gas Zombie.
 * "Like the Fist of Stalin... up your ass!"
 * — Upon getting a kill with Thundergun/Zeus Cannon.
 * "Feel the might of the Red Army!"
 * — Upon getting a kill with Thundergun/Zeus Cannon.
 * "Do svidaniya, bitches!"
 * — Upon multiple kills. Do sdivania means "Good Bye" in Russian
 * "Never mess with a Russian when drinks are on the line!"
 * — Upon multiple kills.
 * "Nikolai cannot die! Hey, that rhymes!"
 * — After a knife kill.
 * "Die, demon hell-pigs!"
 * — Upon multiple kills.
 * "I just killed a billion zombies... why is no one helping?"
 * — Upon multiple kills.
 * "Hey, you left your arm behind!"
 * — After destroying a zombie's limb.
 * "From Russia with great affection!"
 * — After killing a zombie, a reference to the movie From Russia with Love.
 * "Die, slime-thing! Die! Die!"
 * — After killing a Gas Zombie.

Being hit by a Zombie

 * "I like it rough, but not that rough."
 * — When getting attacked by a zombie.
 * "OW! My shins!"
 * — When getting attacked by a crawler.
 * "Hey, what's that? Oh, crawler!"
 * — When getting attacked by a crawler.
 * "You know how to say "owned" in Russian? OWNT!"
 * — Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.
 * "No it's my vodka! MINE! MY OWN!"
 * — Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.
 * "No touchie! ...I have issues."
 * — Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.
 * "You are dead now! But you were dead before! Ahh fuck you!"
 * — Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.
 * "You see what happens when you touch Nikolai?!"
 * — Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

Hellhound

 * "Come play "Fetch the Grenade", demon-spawn!"
 * — At the beginning of a Hellhound round.
 * "They're trying to fetch our souls again!"
 * — At the beginning of a Hellhound round.
 * "You don't want my soul, it probably tastes like vodka. Mmm... vodka."
 * — At the beginning of a Hellhound round.
 * "Out of my way, suka!"
 * — Upon killing a Hellhound (this is a wordplay, as in russian "suka" means "bitch")
 * "Die, demon-spawn!"
 * — Upon killing a Hellhound.
 * "No soul for you!"
 * — Upon killing a Hellhound.
 * "Ugh...I think I got fur in my mouth"
 * — Killing a Hellhound
 * "Come suka, I have vodka for you"
 * — At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

Down or revived

 * "I have made mess in trousers..."
 * — When downed.
 * "Well, maybe I have time for drink."
 * — When downed.
 * "Do not leave me to the maggots!"
 * — When downed.
 * "Oh, I feel stupid..."
 * — When downed.
 * "Come back! Nikolai can still fight!"
 * — When downed.
 * "Wha-what? I was only taking a nap!"
 * — After being revived.
 * "You see what happened to me, there were thousands!"
 * — After being revived.
 * "All right, all right, I'll get up all ready, sheesh..... like mother."
 * — After being revived.
 * "What? Break-time's over now?"
 * — After being revived.
 * "How do you say... "thank you" in Idiot?"
 * — After being revived.

Ammo

 * "Running low on ammunition!"
 * — When low on ammo.
 * "Running low on ammo! I'm drunk..."
 * — When low ammo.
 * "It's that clicking again! Oh, ammo!"
 * — When out of ammo.
 * "I'm out of ammo! Maybe I should just drink instead... piss on someone..."
 * — When out of ammo.
 * "When did I run out of ammo?"
 * — When out of ammo.
 * "Why is no one caring about my lack of ammo?"
 * — When out of ammo.
 * "Greedy capitalists dogs! Give me ammo!"
 * — When out of ammo
 * "Why am I always needing more ammo?"
 * — When out of ammo.
 * "If I don't find ammo, I'll have to kill them with my breath!"
 * — When out of ammo.
 * "I have vodka, but no fucking ammo!"
 * -- When out of ammo
 * "I have vodka, but no ammo!"
 * --when out of ammo

Buying off weapons off the wall

 * "Holding this up makes my arms so tired!"
 * — After buying a M14 off the wall.
 * "Hey, snipers may wear diapers, but we get all the ladies."
 * — Upon buying an M14 off the wall.
 * "Great! I can camp now! I hate moving around so much..."
 * — Upon buying an M14
 * —"Alright, who else want to try and take me?"
 * After buying any SMG off the wall.
 * "Come baby...we do the 59, eh? He he..."
 * — After buying any SMG or the M14 from the wall.
 * "This is "nice and light"..."
 * — After buying any SMG off the wall.
 * "This will make demon-holes nicely!"
 * — After buying any SMG from the wall.
 * "A shotgun, now I just need a shot glass! He he!"
 * — After buying an Olympia off the wall.
 * "Please, I have no job!"
 * "12 GAUGE FURY!!!"
 * — After buying the Stakeout off the wall.
 * — When attempt to buy a weapon without requisite points.
 * ""Such strength, such craftsmanship. Must be made in mother land."
 * — -When buying the Bowie Knife

Power-up

 * "Just what the doctor ordered!"
 * — Upon receiving a "Max-Ammo" power-up.
 * "Why am I so heavy now?"
 * — Upon getting a Max Ammo power-up.
 * "This is proper socialist reform!"
 * — Upon getting a Max Ammo power-up.
 * "It is happy hour!"
 * — Upon getting a Double Points power-up.
 * "Vodka for everybody!"
 * — Upon getting a Double Points power-up.
 * I should go home and tell her that I can make Double Points now and about new girlfriend
 * __Upon getting a Double Points power-up.
 * "Capitalists...if you can't beat them...you know..."
 * — Upon getting a Fire-Sale power-up
 * "Salute!"
 * — Upon getting the Nuke power-up
 * "What's happening? That music sucks."
 * — Upon getting a Fire Sale power-up.
 * "Nikolai is coming for you!"
 * — Upon getting an Insta-Kill power-up.
 * "A salute to the nuclear bomb!"
 * — Upon getting the Nuke power-up
 * "I drink to the nuclear bomb!"
 * — Upon getting a Nuke.
 * "Thank you!... disembodied little girl voice!"
 * — Upon getting the Carpenter power-up.
 * "Great, I don't have to do anything!"
 * — Upon getting the Carpenter power-up.
 * "That should keep them out for a while."
 * — Upon getting the Carpenter power-up.

Perk-a-Cola

 * "I think Dempsey is right. It is a bit fishy."
 * — Upon drinking Quick Revive.
 * "Reach for vodka tooooniiiiggghhht..."
 * — Upon drinking Jugger-nog.
 * "Why can I see so clearly now?"
 * — Upon drinking Speed Cola.
 * "My tap is doubled, but not my vodka."
 * — When Double Tap Root Beer is bought.

Pack-a-Punch

 * "This is like standing in grocery line!"
 * — While waiting for Pack-a-Punch Machine.
 * "Don't worry guys! Nikolai is coming for you!"
 * — After receiving a Pack-a-Punched weapon.
 * "Oh, I like, it's pretty!"
 * — After receiving a Pack-a-Punched weapon.
 * "Power and accuracy! The gun is pretty too."
 * — Upon receiving a Pack-A-Punched weapon.
 * "Hurryhurryhurryhurryhurryhurry.......come on!!"
 * — Putting a gun in the Pack-A-Punch machine

Mystery Box

 * "I've got ninety-nine problems, but a gun ain't one, da!"
 * — After getting an Assault Rifle Galil from Mystery Box. A reference to "99 Problems,"a song by Jay-Z.
 * "I love this effing gun! Get it? FN? Just like... fuck!"
 * — After getting a FN FAL from Mystery Box.
 * "Snipers may wear diapers, but they get all the ladies!"
 * — After getting a sniper rifle from Mystery Box (also said after buying an M14).
 * "Hello beautiful, I'll 'cock' you gently."
 * — After getting a gun from Mystery Box.
 * "I never met an MG I didn't like"
 * — Upon getting an SMG from the Mystery Box
 * "Why? Why do you treat me like this?"
 * — After getting a Python from Mystery Box.
 * "Ah, two pistols are better than one! And one pistol is better than... what?"
 * — After getting a Dual-Wielded CZ75 from Mystery Box.
 * "I will be able to take them out gangsta' style now!"
 * — After getting a Dual Wielded CZ75 from Mystery Box.
 * "This makes Nikolai very happy, like first date! ...I bring home flowers!"
 * — After getting a China Lake from Mystery Box.
 * "I drank so much, I moved to the future!"
 * — After getting a Ray Gun from Mystery Box.
 * "Such power... Such pride! It must be Russian made!"
 * — Upon receiving the Thundergun
 * "Hello Ray. Would you like to taste my vodka?"
 * — After getting a Ray Gun from Mystery Box.
 * "This looks like it comes from space, no?"
 * — After getting a Ray Gun from Mystery Box
 * "First it takes my money, then it disappears... just like my fourth wife!"
 * — After getting a Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box.
 * "This little girl and her games. It's a sign of bad parenting."
 * — After getting a Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box.
 * "Oh well, maybe I'll just sit here and nap."
 * — When trying to use Mystery Box without requisite points.
 * "Fuck you, monkey!"
 * — After receiving a Monkey Bomb.
 * "I hate those fucking Monkeys."
 * — When getting the Monkey Bomb from Mystery Box
 * "This must be vodka power."
 * — Nikolai after obtain Thundergun from box.
 * "What?! That stripper must have stolen my money!"
 * — Trying to use the Mystery Box without enough points
 * "I don't like it's beedy little eyes."
 * --- After recieving a Monkey Bomb.

Other

 * "The film must have been shit, this place is full of stiffs!"
 * — Upon turning on the power.
 * "Why do they insist on picking on me?"
 * — While being being chased by a swarm of zombies
 * "I will piss in style here!"
 * — Upon entering the bathroom in first floor.
 * "Another dark alley, I know this well."
 * — Upon gaining access to the alley.
 * "Hey Dempsey, I think you left your blush here!"
 * — Upon gaining access to the dressing room.
 * "Oh I found a rock, great."
 * — After finding the first piece of the meteor.
 * "I found another rock... but no vodka!"
 * — After finding the second piece of the meteor.


 * "Well, they do say the screen puts on ten pounds."
 * — After examining his portrait.
 * "Hey Dempsey! I think they got your bad side!"
 * — After examining Dempsey's portrait.
 * "I hate you, Takeo."
 * — After examining Takeo's portrait.
 * "Richtofen looks a little younger in this painting."
 * — After examining Richtofen's portrait.
 * "Hey! Someone took the image from this picture!"
 * — After examining the blacked-out portrait.
 * "I'll rescue you, but only because you owe me from last time!"
 * — When Takeo is being chased by a swarm of Zombies
 * "Richtofen, your children are becoming annoying!"
 * — Upon being chased by a swarm of Zombies.
 * "Oh, look! Our Mighty Warrior surrounded again!"
 * — Upon seeing Takeo chased by a swarm of Zombies.

Acsension

 * "You remind me of my sister!"(As a matryoshka doll talking to Nikolai)
 * "Hey! My sister used to make these things...she was bitch."(upon talking to his matryoshka doll)
 * "I need more vodka! I mean...ammo!"(when out of ammo)
 * "Oh hi Dempsey"(As a matryoshka doll talking to Dempsey)````
 * "I'm warning you, I'm flammable!"
 * "There it goes again! If you see my ex's tell them fuck you!"(As the Mystery Box vanishes and refference to his wives)
 * "There it goes again! If you see my ex's tell them screw you!"(As the Mystery Box vanishes and refference to his wives)
 * "My gun is filled with bullets, my body is filled with vodka, all is good!"(Upon recieving a Max Ammo)